Feel Your Feelings

I like to believe at times that things happen for a reason. That and we meet people to learn lessons or because we have something to teach the other person. Well, I worked hard to ensure that I made a quality post to make up for being late last week. Taking the time to create these posts also gives me a way to work on my writing. As I was finishing up the post for today, I went in to add a title but, there had been a connection issue that resulted in the loss of the entire post. I'm stunned. Maybe this is the universe trying to tell me that I should have written about my original idea - mental health. The one I had finished was a wholesome, feel-good story about what my two boys and I have gone through this week but, I understand that being able to talk about mental health is an important topic - one that I've done my best to be open about when I'm streaming. To be able to have a safe space to let your feelings out is important for everyone. I feel this is true especially for men. From what I have seen, growing up masculine seems to have meant hiding your emotions, not crying, sucking it up, and that's incredibly unhealthy. Who is there to tell them "It's okay to not be okay," "You deserve to be heard," "I see you?"

I was born in 1992, grew up in the early 2000s, graduated, and began my life as a young adult in the early 2010's. Mental health during those years was taboo. Everyone was suffering and none of us had a safe outlet. I've now heard stories of how some turned towards alcohol, others towards drugs, and everything in between just to cope with emotions we never learned to deal with? Even now I struggle with how to word that.

Mental health was on my mind earlier because of a TikTok I came across this morning. Yes, TikTok. In one clip a woman shared what her therapist had sent to her in regards to the statement, "Feel your feelings." Now, what does this mean? I thought it meant listening to the thoughts, recognizing them as intrusive thoughts, and telling myself that's all they are as they continued. Many in the comment section seemed to believe that it meant listening to those thoughts instead of ignoring them. It turns out "feel your feelings" means listening to the physical reactions your body gives when you have those thoughts. It means, when those thoughts begin, Ignore them and focus on your body. Focus on your chest tightening, how hard it is to breathe. Focus on those tears stinging in your eyes. Do not listen to the story, to the voice in your head. Feel the physical reactions and let it finish. Notice how you're still here.

Personally, the idea of allowing myself to feel the physical reaction scares me. I understand, though. Feeling those reactions would mean allowing my body to work through the emotions, it means crying and letting my body do what it needs to do. As a woman, allowing ourselves to experience emotion and allow them to be seen is viewed as a feminine quality and is deemed socially acceptable for me to do. For anyone masculine, I can't imagine how hard it would be to allow yourself to go through that work, especially alone. Everyone masculine deserves to have a place where they can feel their feelings without being judged. A place that lets them know that, Hey! It's okay to cry. It's okay to need a hug and let out those emotions. You don't have to hold them in anymore. You're safe. And you deserve to be heard.

Whether from TikTok or therapy, I'll be sure to share all I learn here. Going forward into the 2020s, I have hope that mental health becomes an open topic that carries no shame. Everyone needs a little help here and there. Even if you need more than a little, that's perfectly alright. I also hold hope that we allow those who are masculine to truly be open with their emotions. Emotions don't make you weak. They make you human.